No pressure or anything

Lately, I have been reading blogs way more than attempting to write in them. I have gotten caught up in the "this blog mentions this blog which refers to that blog and hey this funny friend is on that blog..." of it all. And the funniest part? They are strangers. Oh, I read my friends' blogs too...but this chain-o'-blog addiction type...thing...has been pretty cool too. First of all, it satisfies my subconscious stalker urge. I've peeked into the lives of many women lately. Moms, friends, daughters etc... and have come back encouraged and uplifted. I have watched a mom in Arkansas struggle with the health issues of her new born baby, checked out the recipes of a mom in (I think) Mississippi and another in Texas. I have looked and listened.
And then thought...what do I have to write about? The thought didn't discourage me or give me blog-envy (much)...but my busy stalking-ness did occupy my would-be blogging time.
And I do have ideas and thoughts and little snippets of my life that I'm looking forward to sharing with all 3 or 1 of you who read this. But right now, I guess you could say I am the "grasshopper" learning from the....who is it that says "ahh....very good grasshopper" ? ? ?

So...what have I been doing this week? Thanks to Heather's blog at http://nothnagelnews.blogspot I learned that I could save between 50-60% on my groceries at Dillons. I followed her tips, clipped some coupons, took my plus card and i DID save. And I had very VERY few coupons compared to the "pro's."
And, thanks to http://www.thebigmamablog.com, I have laughed and laughed. I like this one so much that I even read lots of her old posts...really old ones.
And because of http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot I had my first (and second, and third) good cry of 2009.
Those are a taste of what I've been reading...who I've been "meeting."
When I get a little more blog savvy I will put up that list of blogs I read...starting with http://www.deanandshelley.blogspot . :)
Until then...I will stay right here in my toasty little igloo and try not to think of the amount of work it will take to chisel out my car tomorrow morning.

Commitment Issues

I have commitment issues. I bring this up because it was my biggest drawback to starting a blog. I have all the evidence I need to support this theory. Plastic storage tubs full of patterns and material. Yarn. Empty photo albums. Several years worth of unwritten and un-sent Christmas cards (and a VERY Merry Christmas to you!). All the supplies for Pampered Chef business success. . . and so on. The yarn is especially ambitious as I can only crochet in a straight line and sometimes turn.

But I have a theory about my theory. I think that all of my commitment issues can be solved with one basic issue. If I could only resolve this one issue...stay committed just long enough...I believe that all of my other procrastinations and postponements would start to fall into place.

Don't think I haven't tried. Again. And again and again. Sometimes, after several failures, I will give up for a while...but I always go back to it. THIS time will be different. THIS time I will see it through to the end. If I just do this...or that..this time I will remain committed.

I did this today. Went through my little conversation in my head. Convinced myself for the 10 billionth time that THIS time was it.

This is the milk that I threw out today because...

of this milk I bought at Wal-Mart (and also b/c it expired LAST YEAR),
even though...

this one still has a cereal bowl's worth of milk left.
I feel the calcium seeping from my bones as we type.

addiction

when writing...i find i'm addicted to the .... it's the nonverbal form of "yaddah-yaddah-yaddah." and it's lazy. and it leaves so much to the reader's imagination. and what kind of writer would i be if i didn't help grow your imagination? you're welcome!
-

What I missed out on today

Today, all of my side of the family is meeting for our "Christmas." We generally do ours on New Year's Day or the first Saturday after...whatever works. This year we did the first Sunday after, due to work schedules. We're a pretty laid-back and flexible family. I didn't get to go because I've been struggling with some minor but very annoying illness issues. I could have gone, I could have driven the 2 hours there, 2 hours back, and spent the day with various siblings, cousins, aunts and uncle, and grandparents. I weighed the issue and once I decided not to go and that hour of no return passed...I regretted it. Even though I know that it would have sapped me of the energy I've been "working" all weekend to save...I know that I have missed out on something.

Not on gifts. I have long exceeded the age limit for gift buying at this event (sniff sniff). And though I'm sure the food was good...I am not missing that. Even the fun and chaos of a gathering...I am ok with that. What I missed out on was the chance to be in the presence of the two people pictured above. That's Grandad and Granny, to you (well, to me anyway). In the pictures they are holding my nephew Lane, born a few weeks ago in December (to my brother Mark and his wife Kristin). My grandparents love ALL their kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids. No doubt about it. But Lane, in his brand new life, has already filled a spot in their hearts. He is named after my uncle, Layne, who lost a brave, brave battle with cancer 21 years ago this December. And by sharing his name, Lane is both a tribute to a beloved uncle, and an honor to his parents, the son they still grieve is not forgotten. This little Lane even has a reddish tint to his hair, like his great uncle did. And this little one, like the rest of us, will benefit from the heritage of growing up under these grandparents.

That's what I'm missing most today (man can I get off track, or what??). Whenever I am around them, for an official celebration or just a quick minute...I always leave with a little bit of encouragement. Granny has long been president of my fan club. She sends me encouraging emails or letters (back in the day), she asks me the hard questions, she tells me what she thinks, and most of all--she reminds me that they are both praying for me daily. DAILY. Grandad is the detail manager. Is my car running ok? How's work? What class am I taking now? Here, let me fix your computer. They've been married for well over 50 years. They will never be rich (in money) and they won't leave any of us with an earthly inheritance. But they have set the example, the standard, of how to live out your faith in everyday life. And they have given us a heritage that can not be bought for all the money in...wherever. And today I miss seeing them.

P.S. After getting my computer "cleaned up" my screen saver now mysteriously says "Granny and Ole Grandad love you!!!" :)

I blog because....I can?

I never intended to get sucked into the "blogging" world. But vast amounts of free time and the enjoyment of friends' and family's blogs has opened the door for me. Finally, a way to share the thoughts, however random, that are in my head. MY HEAD! I think back to my childhood, when vacations always had at least one (or 7) rolls of film that didn't quite fit in with the "family stands in front of Alamo" theme. Not my pictures, but my mom's. Most of the time we just thumbed through those with the passing thought--oh Mom, people's feet? Really?--and then moved on...but possibly, had she had the outlet of BLOGGING, my mom might not have been so misunderstood.
So...in my life...what are my everyday thoughts and reactions? What's bugging me...what cracks me up...what's it to you? No idea. But that's part of the draw. I won't try to sell you on this blog. I am sure to have my "rolls and rolls of feet pictures." But then, it's my blog. My pictures. My feet. Or, probably not so much my feet...but we'll see how the wind blows.
I will say that I mulled this over for several weeks (and by "mulled" I mean I would randomly think about it for about 2.6 seconds whenever it popped into my head), and my biggest worry was, what to name my blog. We name our dogs based on restaurants and street signs we pass along the way home (thus papa MURPHY and Sassy red--miss you Sassy). I did want my blog to represent more than just my superficial thoughts...and "Start Fresh From Here" is kind of the motto or lesson that I have been learning for a while now. More on that later. Anyway, thanks for 'stopping by' and I hope to see and hear more from you in the future.