Monday, July 27, 2009

Personal space, proxemics, and post traumatic library experiences

I can use big words like "proxemics" because of my recent educational endeavors (it's a big word kind of day) into the communications field. Which (and I apologize for this) I didn't even really consider a field prior to choosing this major. I just knew it didn't require a statistics class (except NOW IT DOES) or business law or some other class where the books cost over 100 bucks each and the syllabus can be used to replace the "PM" in Tylenol PM.
What? Was I telling a really long story? Oh, yes...I was.
So, in a couple of different classes we have discussed "proxemics" (distance between people) in relation to nonverbal skills, comfort level and a bunch of other boring stuff. We even did experiments in "expectation violations" which really just amounted to us going out in groups and making people uncomfortable by standing too close to them and other "violations." Did I mention that this is a great major?
ANYWAY. . . TODAY I am at the library working on some homework before an appointment for class (because home = sleep). I am at a table in the general public and some guy comes and sits down at my table, plugging in his laptop as well. That's ok, it's a free country and it's a bit busy in here today. But instead of sitting diagonally from me, he sits directly across from me. Whatever, the tables are several feet wide, so it's not like we are up in each other's 'bid-ness. But now I am so disturbed by the PROXEMICS of him, of that peripheral eye contact thing, that I couldn't work any longer (lucky you).
And before you start mumbling things like "paranoid" and "big whoopdeedoo" let me tell you something. This library is a nice library. BUT, once upon a time, before I had my own lap top, I was using the public computers. And the young man next to me was using his computer in an entirely different and, some might say inappropriate, way. Talk about an expectation violation. It was so unexpected that at first I didn't catch on to what was going on. Nothing on his screen gave an obvious indication to the self expectancy-violation that was occurring next to me.
What would you have done in this situation? Turn and speak directly to him, in a loud and non-library voice, saying "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING??" and "STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!" in your best old-lady voice, inform the male librarian several times and point out the many children running about, leave the library and call the police on the way out the door? If you chose all of the above, then we agree.
So, when the guy sat across from me today (he's gone now, I must have scared him off with my mumbling and twitching), I couldn't help but take you on this long, awkward flash back with me.
You're welcome.

2 comments:

  1. You are a weirdo magnet (bus...need I say more?)

    On a brighter note, my friend wondered what others would think if you used your tray instead of getting a plate and going through the buffet? Interesting...I thought of you and your personal space experiments.

    :)

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  2. Ugh!! I really don't think they clean those trays well. I think I am not hungery anymore just thinking about that expectancy violation.

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