Please respect my alternative lifestyle

Dear Friends,

It is with great pride, excitement, nervousness, and enthusiasm that I officially come out of the closet and announce that I fully believe in and want to live openly in an alternative lifestyle.  I know that this choice may not be a popular one, but it's mine. In fact, I don't even see it as a choice. It's more like a "calling." Or something. All I know is that I can not find any sort of happiness or satisfaction by keeping my alternative lifestyle a secret any longer. I know that you may worry, there are many people out there who will express anger, judgement, and disrespect for my choice to live this way. They will rush to react, they will assume that because I identify with a certain "lifestyle", that I must agree with some of the jerks who give our lifestyle a bad name.  I assure you, this is not true.  I affirm to you that my choice does not mean that I have abandoned the basic principles of how to treat other human beings. I have not forgotten the value of EVERY human life, even those that seemingly just want to put me in a closet and live their lives without considering how their actions affect me and others like me.  That's OK. I know that by living openly as an "alternative" kind of person, I will often be put under the microscope.  And I know that when I'm under that microscope, my flaws will be evident. After many years of shame and hiding my imperfections and trying to live a false life, I welcome the relief of living a true life.  I can no longer hide my human inability to live up to other flawed people's standards. SO...with that, I want to introduce you to my new Love. I have, in this lifestyle, FINALLY found the answer to never measuring up.  I have found the best dysfunctional relationship and plan to proclaim it loudly and proudly for whomever is within shouting distance. He tells me how flawed I am, all the time. And He tells me how I can't do anything without him, not anything worth doing anyway. He tells me that HIS plans are best for me and that I should just give up whatever silly control I try to have in my life and let HIM figure it out.  He tells me that no one else will ever love me like he does, that his love is different and special and will change my life. I know, you have heard of him. And you think maybe he is too controlling or too limited or that he is biased and hateful towards certain types of people. Those messages are not from me. I'm telling you, and you KNOW me, that he is not biased. He thinks we ALL are failures without him! See, he's equality all the way. Anyway, I think this lifestyle is really going to work for me.  There is freedom in knowing that I don't have to be (and never actually CAN be) smart enough, good enough, environmentally friendly enough, skinny enough, liberal enough, enlightened enough, rich enough, urban enough, or anything else that I have been horribly failing at not being enough of, there is freedom in knowing that I can never be enough. And I know that seems like giving up, that I am supposed to, according to everyone else out there, always be trying to be more, to do more, to have more, to achieve more, to know more.......more and more and more....but today, on my COMING OUT day....I say ENOUGH. I am not enough, but with HIM, with my LOVE, with the One who loves me in a way that many in this world will never understand, I am ready to live this weird alternative lifestyle. Don't you worry about me, He is Enough. Let me know if you've had enough, too. I'd be glad to help you come out and celebrate this alternative lifestyle. We could even have a parade!