Friday, July 2, 2010

What I learned for 80 bucks

Instead of going on and on about the posts I haven't been posting, the long month of getting to know my husband (and myself as a wife) all over again, the Deep and Spiritual growth occurring...I think today I will just share what goes on in my scattered brain.
As I sat in the chair at the oral surgeon's (code word for hard core dentist), I was grateful for the "anti-anxiety" pill that he had prescribed for me. It literally took me from a level of nervousness that had me considering canceling the appointment one minute to a nonchalant ambivalence the next. And really, when you know you're having a piece of your body ripped violently out while awake, ambivalence is the best you can hope for. SO, back to the chair. I could have just had the numbing shots, or the laughing gas for $80, or the I.V. stuff that "puts you in a drunken state" for an extra $200 (not covered by insurance). And really, if I wanted to be in a drunken state, I'm pretty sure I could have gotten myself there for much less than $200, though at 11 a.m. it might have proved a challenge. I opted for the gas, though, because I wanted to know as little about what was going on as possible. As I settled in the chair and they placed the mask on me, I literally felt all my cares float away. Even when they gave me a couple of rounds of shots, and I knew that my body was hurting and that I couldn't feel it, I just didn't care. I was conscious, but not concerned. And even in the midst of all the gas and pain medicine and Valium and numbing, I thought to myself, "This is how people can do the most horrible things, or allow the most horrible things to be done to them." I know, that is pretty deep for a dentist chair. But it opened my eyes to a world that I have little experience with. It showed me how prostitutes and abusers and addicts and broken people survive the continued damaging things through drug addictions. It took me about 3 minutes to not care if the dentist ripped out every tooth in my head, imagine what months or years on drugs would allow and abused girl-turned-prostitute to endure, without "caring." It was really an eye-opening experience (except for the part where I couldn't actually open my left eye for an hour or so because the shots "turned off my blinking muscle"). And a weird experience. Who thinks about these things in the dentist chair? Really? But as the hours have passed and my foggy brain has come back to its normal level of somewhat coherent thought....it occurs to me that this was actually an answer to prayer. In all of our relationship restoring and life rebuilding, Jimmy and I have been praying for wisdom. Not any specific kind of wisdom, but just that the wisdom of God would become more evident in our lives. That we would be able to see things with the light of the One who knows everything shining in our minds. I guess that today, God thought I needed to understand a bit more personally how people use drugs to hide pain. I don't know why, or how this wisdom will be used, but I thank God for the few minutes of teaching in the most unlikely of places.
What kind of wisdom are you seeking?

5 comments:

  1. I totally get deep semi unrelated thoughts when I'm going through situations like that. Last month I had a root canal. They numbed my face so much that I thought, "Hey! This stuff works so good I bet someone would be able to punch someone in the face so hard and they wouldn't feel a thing!" Then I got on this tangent in my head that maybe they should give it to people who are known to be in dangerous situations where they would need to be that numb. Lets jsut stop there. I'm already sounding crazy!

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  2. Abby, that is TOO funny....maybe that's what those ultimate fighter guys do? Maybe you could market that idea, if it weren't for it being such an illegal drug thing and all that... :) Also, so sorry to hear about the root canal. Those are no fun at all.

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  3. Wow, how profound! I love when God teaches us things at the most unexpected time, and in the most unexpected way! :-)

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  5. Carrie, that was quite a surprising realization. Yet, the idea holds true for the drug addiction community. The ability to feign nonchalance even in dire situations is caused by the influences of illegal drugs. Fortunately, that so called 'high' found a beneficial niche in dental practice. It had been the panacea for dentist-related anxieties.

    In some parts of the country and in Goose Creek, dentists use trace amounts of nitrous oxide to help the patients go through certain procedures. Other forms of sedation dentistry are also utilized by modern dentists. Goose Creek and other areas have clinics that afford such benefits to its patients.

    Very insightful post. Thanks!

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